It’s a dark winter night in Westminster but the building from which a group of men emerge is still wreathed in light. The men clamber into a sleek car, which streaks away through the emptying streets. Their journey is short in physical distance, but it’s long on significance for all of them. They are serious of face and purpose as the vehicle stops by one of the quieter spots on the riverbank.
The heaviest of the men is the first to get out, he flashes a look along the river bank, and seeing it deserted, nods quickly to his companions, all of whom except the driver, step gingerly onto the riverbank.
The smallest of the three men takes charge now, nodding at the other two, who without speaking they go to the boot of the car and take out a box. Although both big men, they struggle with it; cumbersomely put together, it’s in danger of collapsing even as they haul it to a spot furthest from the nearby street.
In the darkness they start digging, the largest of the men handles a spade expertly, digging with a quiet controlled proficiency that his friends wish he could apply to everything else he does. The middle of the men, digs with a rambunctious energy, but his aggression is such that he must surely break the spade if he continues much longer. This man grunts and says to the other two, “you wouldn’t see those posh t*$%s doing this themselves eh, probably have a servant for that.”
John Prescott (for it is he) stares at the man who just spoke, and says, “Ed we don’t forget you went to a public school as well”.
Ed Balls (for it is he) just grunts and contemplates doing a mischief to the spade, which is already bent out of shape from the violence of his digging.
The smallest of the trio, who had watched the work with what he hoped was authority, was getting impatient, lest they should be seen. “Is the hole deep enough yet” Ed Milliband says,” just get the box into it, and lets get away from here”.
Two of them grab the box, stare at it malevolently, and drop it into the hole. It catches a shard of moonlight as it falls, but only four words are visible “Too far, Too fast”.
Prescott spoons some earth over It with the spade, and Balls adds more by kicking.
They clamber up the riverbank towards the car, each knowing without speaking that they won’t mention the box or its contents ever again. The driver presses the engine into life before they get to the top of the bank. As the trio are about to enter the warmth, Prescott pulls away and says he wont be going any further with them, he has to “see his secretary about something”.
Ed Balls guffaws. Milliband looks bewildered but then worries. “They all like John” he thinks, “he gets invited to everything and no one wants him to change, maybe if I went to see my secretary more, then people wouldn’t want me to change”. He must remember to ask his wife about it when he gets home.
Milliband opens his new writing pad, it takes time to find a blank page because each of the pages has one letter from the word RELAUCH written in large print across it.
On finding a clear white space, Ed Relaxes and begins thinking about all the things he is going to say at the next PMQs
And there is where we must leave it, for we have reached the limits of my imagination.
I cannot fathom what Ed is going to say at the next Prime Ministers Questions. Where can Milliband go with that after his shadow Chancellor Ed Balls told the world that Labour’s starting point would be “keeping all the cuts” and the public sector pay freeze.
This is the third shot Labour have loaded in their battle for economic credibility, moving from the cuts being ‘ideological’ right through to endorsing them. In future I may try to anticipate what Ed Milliband will say when next he speaks at a demo by public sector workers against the cuts, their reaction to him can be seen in the more than 900 comments at the bottom of that Gaurdian article.
To argue that there are only brighter times ahead for the economy would be foolish. But there are grounds for optimism.
Twenty consecutive months of growth achieved while delivering borrowing figures lower in 2011 than in 2010 is positive news in any climate, while stronger than expected numbers from the US show that while the EU is in decline, other key British markets are recovering. This explains why the Office of Budget Responsibility calculate that in the last quarter British exports increased, while the country is borrowing at a cheaper rate than Germany. But as I have written numerous times, its the Coalition’s actions on inflation that will determine its success on the economy.
Much of the inflation of the past twelve months is temporary in nature, with Middle Eastern tensions increasing oil prices, and commodity prices driven up by increased demand in developing nations.
But there has always been more to it than that; the weaker the British Economy, the greater the need to borrow, the weaker the pound becomes and the more expensive imports become as a result – this is a key cause of the inflation we have being seeing.
All of this was predictable and inevitable, and was always going to make 2011 a painful year for Britain.
2012 wont be a bed of roses, but as the cuts hit demand hardest, the dramatic reduction in inflation should pick up part of the slack, keeping demand and growth just the right side of the line to prevent the double dip recession Labour have been forecasting since 2010.
The biggest threat to this scenario is further tension in Middle East pushing up oil prices and even greater dysfunction in the Eurozone causing sovereign debt prices to rise. But its not the latest batch of economic stats that can most be used to justify the claim that the Coalition are winning the argument, it’s the direction of travel.
There is still much room for debate on the economy. There are far too many variables in play for any certainty. But the acceptance by Labour of the volume of cuts and the need for public sector pay restraint highlights a victory for the coalition in determining how future economic debate is framed.
*David Thorpe is a Lib Dem member in Hammersmith and Fulham.
* David Thorpe was the Liberal Democrat Prospective Parliamentary Candidate for East Ham in the 2015 General Election